In A Really Messed Up Way I'm a Widow
by Naiha
Summary: Sequel to You Aren't Leaving I Am Bella runs away to the Volturi after Edward abandons her again. Not knowing the truth it becomes a plot of revenge to destroy Edward. But if she finds out the truth? Hearts will be broken, and lives could be taken away.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so here I stand, waiting for Heidi, because until she brings in the humans for the rest of the coven I can't go out and eat. It's really annoying because Aro figures that if I stand in a room of humans and inhale deeply then I might find them appetizing. All I smell is each person's scent, and it's not very appealing. Some people might come in and smell like flowers, but it didn't matter because I don't find humans appetizing. Aro didn't even get that after fifty years.

Maybe I should go back a little? When I couldn't him, I ran to the airport to get a flight to Italy, but then I changed my mind, and I searched all the places the Cullen's could possibly be.

I never found them.

After four months of searching, I finally went to the Volturi. When I got there I had developed another power. I was able to put a shield over my mind, and read peoples thoughts like him, but it required a lot of concentration and effort. By the time, I got to Italy, I was a mess, and I was looking forward to having them tear me apart.

They wouldn't kill me.

I used the most colorful language I could think of. My exact words were,

"You bloody motherfucking vampire Aro! Why won't you kill me? Damnit you filthy piece of bull-shit!"

I laugh at it now, but at the time I was so angry, upset, and hurt that I was not going to put up with know-it-all-vampire-who-thinks-he-rules-the-world. But he told me that I wasn't going to be killed, because he just valued my powers and it would be a shame to commit suicide. Well, when I'm in one of my moods, suicide always, seems like the best option.

You see, now I have a new ring on my finger. The new ring on my finger belongs to the Volturi. Its shows that I'm a part of them, but it just a fashion stunt Heidi had pulled, because she was bored, and Aro used it as a sign of loyalty. That man had serious issues with loyalty…like me.

I kept Edward's ring on for a long time, 45 years. I was a widow. I mean a widow is someone who's lost their husband right? Yeah well I've lost mine twice. Well he wasn't my husband the first time I lost him. And so in my head, I'm a widow. I think it's really messed up. To everyone else, I'm the hot, depressed chick, with a husband who ran away from her. Everyone thinks that their might be something wrong with me that made him run away. But I know that's not true. It wasn't me, it was him. I think that the love just died out. It's pretty ironic. My mom told me to never get married before I was thirty. She was right. Renee and Charlie's love had died. At least Renee's had. Charlie still loved my mother, or had loved my mother. He passed away ten years after I disappeared. In my situation I wasn't sure who I was. Was I Charlie? Whose love hadn't died? Or was I Renee, the one who moved on with her life?

I had forgiven Edward a long time ago. I let him go, and the reason I took off his ring was that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. I was going to move on with my life.

The love died. He could still love me for all I care. I didn't love him anymore.

So I was Renee, and I knew that.

But why did I feel that some part of me was like Charlie?


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2:**_

Damnit! What the hell was Aro's problem? I mean _karaoke nights_? I think the guy was getting old, because he obviously had nothing better to do than humiliate his guard, by forcing them to engage in something ludicrous as karaoke nights.

Today he called us from our quarters and said, "We need to have a new form of entertainment."

Everyone had just stared at him, because we didn't need entertainment. We were all content, or most of us were content, at least. Apparently Aro was bored because then he said,

"We are going to have Karaoke nights!"

Some people started laughing thinking it was a joke, some people looked scared, and others were pretty much ready to tear his head off. I was one of those people.

Heidi approached Aro and asked "Master, you're kidding right?"

Aro just smiled, "Why would I ever do that, my dear? I am by no means, kidding about the Karaoke nights."

Everyone groaned, even Caius. Marcus was bored as usual.

Then he went and explained the rules.

Each week he was going to pick someone from the guard, and they were going to go and perform in front of humans at _Picasso _Volterra's most famous club. Aro, Marcus, and Caius would decide on the songs, the guard member would sing.

"This week, I pick Bella. She will be the first one to do the Karaoke night."

I gasped.

Hell. No.

I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to keep my anger in check. But he was the ruler, so it's not like I could do anything about it.

"Don't be angry my dear, it will all be good fun."

I snorted.

"Just tell me what songs I have to sing."

I glared at him.

"Now, now Bella behave, or we could make you sing something from High School Musical 7…."

I plastered a fake smile on my face; because there was no way I was going to sing anything High School Musical…I rather have them kill me.

"Good. Now you're going to be singing My Immortal, So What, Bring Me Back to Life, Brighter, and….Caius, any suggestions?"

Caius looked at me, with a gleam in his eyes.

Caius always was out to get me. This was _**not**_ going to be good.

"Ummm how about Popular and Leave Me Alone by the Veronicas?"

Aro nodded.

Today was officially Humiliate Bella Day.

I could hear the rest of the guard laughing at me.

I could sing Paramore…and Evanescence….Pink, well that was pushing me….but Popular??? Who the hell did they think they were? Oh right, they were the Royal Commanding Vampires…who just might be gay. Well that was my theory…and no I'm sad I thought that because Aro would eventually know…oh well.

I would have to do this. I knew the songs by heart…so I would have to spend the next four hours mourning my existence, until we all left to the club.

"I'll sing them…but it's not like I have much of a choice."

"Of course you don't! Now go off and prepare."

I left…to mourn my existence. This was all Edward's fault. If he hadn't been a bloody bastard, than I wouldn't be here, getting ready for singing these songs.

I sat on my couch…doing nothing.

1 hour…

Another hour….

And another….

After three hours of doing nothing I got up and dressed myself for a club. Okay, not really. I just put on a pair of skinny jeans, and my Vampire Bride shirt. Even though the shirt brought painful memories, it was beyond cute. Alice had rubbed off on me…a little.

Everyone was waiting for me, and Heidi came and put her arm around me.

She was my best friend. She understood me, which at first made no sense to me. But then she told me of her past. She had just gotten married to the man she had loved and then one day he had just run away. It turned out she was pregnant…and she tried to kill herself…until a coven of vampires found her and changed her. She left the coven, and she joined the Volturi.

So she knew what it felt like to lose the one you loved. And in a way she was Alice and Rosalie mixed together. Which was really weird, but it was true. She could be as bitchy as Rose and as bubbly as Alice was.

"It's not going to be that bad."

I looked at her.

"Ok maybe it is, but you know, I Love Pink."

I laughed. "Yeah, because So What just speaks to you so much."

"Well it does…I may not be a rock star, but I did lose my husband."

"I will never understand you Heidi."

"It's okay; I wasn't counting on you to." She grinned.

We eventually got to the club and I was up.

I gulped.

I decided to do, So What first, because Heidi just _loves_ Pink.

_Na Na Na Na Na Na Na  
Na Na Na Na Na Na  
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na  
Na Na Na Na Na Na_

I guess i just lost my husband  
I don't know where he went  
So i'm gonna drink my money  
I'm not gonna pay his rent (Nope)  
I got a brand new attitude  
And i'm gonna wear it tonight  
I wanna get in trouble  
I wanna start a fight

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na  
I wanna start a fight  
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na  
I wanna start a fight

So so what?  
I'm still a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And i don't need you  
And guess what  
I'm having more fun  
And now that we're done  
I'm gonna show you tonight  
I'm alright, I'm just fine  
And you're a tool  
So so what?  
I am a rockstar  
I got my rock moves  
And i don't want you tonight

Uh, check my flow, uh

The waiter just took my table  
And gave to Jessica Simp- Shit!  
I guess i'll go sit with drum boy  
At least he'll know how to hit  
What if this song's on the radio  
Then somebody's gonna die  
I'm gonna get in trouble  
My ex will start a fight

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na  
He's gonna start a fight  
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na  
We're all gonna get in a fight!

So so what?  
I'm still a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And i don't need you  
And guess what  
I'm having more fun  
And now that we're done  
I'm gonna show you tonight  
I'm alright, I'm just fine  
And you're a tool  
So so what?  
I am a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And i don't want you tonight

You weren't there  
You never were  
You want it all  
But thats not fair  
I gave you love  
I gave my all  
You weren't there  
You let me fall

So so what?  
I'm still a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And i don't need you  
And guess what  
I'm having more fun  
And now that we're done (we're done)  
I'm gonna show you tonight  
I'm alright(I'm alright),I'm just fine (I'm just fine)  
And you're a tool  
So so what?  
I am a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And i don't want you tonight

No No, No No  
I Don't want you tonight  
You weren't there  
I'm gonna show you tonight  
I'm alright, I'm just fine  
And you're a tool  
So so what?  
I am a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And i don't want you tonight

Ba da da da da da

Everyone cheered. Marcus clapped, looking bored. What was _with _him? Would it kill the guy to show some enthusiasm? Yes it would.

Heidi even wolf-whistled…and screamed like a fan girl, I sometimes wondered if she was still fourteen at heart.

The next song was Brighter by Paramore.

_So this is how it goes, well I  
I would have never known, and if it ends today,  
Well I'll still say that you shine brighter than anyone_

Now I think we're taking this too far, don't you know  
That it's not this hard, well it's not this hard

But you take what's yours and I take mine, must we go there  
Please not this time, no not this time

Well this is not your fault, but if I'm without you, then I will feel so small  
And if you have to go, well always know that you shine brighter than anyone does

Now I think we're taking this too far, don't you know  
That it's not this hard, well it's not this hard

But if you take what's yours and I take mine, must we go there  
Please not this time, no not this time

If you run away now, will you come back around  
And if you ran away, I'd still wave goodbye watching you shine bright

Now I think we're taking this too far, don't you know  
That it's not this hard, well it's not this hard

But you take what yours and I'll take mine, must we go there

Please not this time, no not this time

I'll wave goodbye watching you shine bright (you shine bright)  
I'll wave goodbye tonight (you shine bright)

I had always liked that song. It spoke to me…is that weird? Yes, most likely. I need to stop talking to myself.

So again with no enthusiasm from Mr. I Have No Life. Aro liked the performance, and Caius was just waiting for his songs. So I decided that Popular would be my grand finale.

Or Not.

The next song would be My Immortal. I always cried during this song. I don't know why. I just couldn't help it.

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me  


This was starting to bore me. When would it end? Chill Bella, its just three more songs left.

I decided I didn't really care what was going on with the crowd. They could be asleep for all I cared; I just wanted this to end.

Ok so more Evanescence.

how can you see into my eyes like open doors  
leading you down into my core  
where I've become so numb without a soul my spirits sleeping somewhere cold  
until you find it there and lead it back home

_(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
before I come undone  
(Save me)  
save me from the nothing I've become_

now that I know what I'm without  
you can't just leave me  
breathe it into me and make me real  
bring me to life

(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
before I come undone  
(Save me)  
save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life  
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)  
Free me tonight

frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead

all this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
got to open my eyes to everything  
without a thought without a voice without a soul  
don't let me die here  
there must be something more  
bring me to life

(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
before I come undone  
(Save me)  
save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)  
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside  
(Bring me to life)

Heidi screamed, and so did the humans. Two more songs to go. Aro looked pleased, as if this was a great idea.

Not.

Okay so I decided to do Popular first. I wish I could kill Caius.

Here goes nothing.

_Pop, Pop  
Mbut-pop  
Mbut-pop  
Mbut-pop  
I hate to say it but they play this damn song in every club  
But it's me so I show love  
But it's me so show me love  
And when I walk into the room people stop and stare  
It's like nobody else is there  
You know it's me not you  
Who said anything about you_

Boys and girls pretend to know me they try so hard  
And I get what I want my name is my credit card  
Don't try to hate me because I am so popular  
Pop- pop- pop-u-lar  
Pop- pop- pop-u-lar

Most guys I dated got intimidated so now I date up  
If you know what I mean so they shutup  
If you know what I mean so just shutup  
Cus I don't wanna give half away on the day  
We don't make up  
If you know what I mean when we wake up  
If you know what I mean when we break up

Boys and girls pretend to know me they try so hard  
And I get what I want my name is my credit card  
Don't try to hate me because I am so popular  
Pop- pop- pop-u-lar

You always wanna be round me  
So you know what it's like  
When the world is at your feet  
And you VIP tonight  
You've either got it or you don't  
And I'm sorry you won't  
Get there by usin' me  
Just go and do your own thing (thing)

Pop, pop, pop  
Mbut, Mpop

Boys and girls pretend to know me they try so hard  
And I get what I want my name is my credit card  
Don't try to hate me because I am so popular  
Pop- pop- pop-u-lar

Boys and girls pretend to know me they try so hard  
And I get what I want my name is my credit card  
Don't try to hate me because I am so popular  
Pop- pop- pop-u-lar  
Pop- pop- pop-u-lar  
Pop- pop- pop-u-lar

Finally, the most embarrassing song was over. I scanned the crowd. There was everyone…looking thrilled, and screaming…was I that good? Well maybe. I breathed in.

I was able to smell a lot of things. The sweat, the scent of vampires…but there was one scent that I hadn't smelt in a long time. It was_ his_. I looked around trying to find him, and I did. And there he was in the back. Looking at me/

Holy. Shit.

There was a girl.

Sitting.

On.

His.

Bloody.

Lap.

The fucking bastard.

Everyone looked at me, because the expression on my face was mixed with shock and anger. Heidi followed the direction of my eyes, and her eyes widened, when she saw Edward.

Aro, looked at me expectantly totally oblivious to what was going on. Stupid idiot.

Okay, I just needed to finish this song, and then I could go and beat the crap out of him.

_I'm getting tired of you pushing me 'round _

_Dragging me down, making a sound_

_Because you wanna _

_I guess that's why I like messing with you _

_Putting you through a lesson or two_

_Because I'm gonna _

_Before I go my own way _

_I just gotta say _

_Leave me alone _

_Get out of my face _

_I'm tired and low_

_Feeling so misplaced _

_Time for you to go _

_You still know I'm better off on my own, so oh _

_Leave me alone _

_This isn't gonna work _

_Don't call me on the phone _

_Because I'm all out of words _

_I'll face the unknown _

_Thinking about all the ways that I've grown, so oh_

_Leave me alone, leave me alone_

_Leve me alone_

_There was the time I thought you were the one _

_Having some fun, getting it done _

_What an illusion _

_'Cause you were trying to take control of me _

_That couldn't be, I need to be free_

_Of this confusion _

_Don't give me a guilt trip_

_Because I'm so over it _

_Leave me alone _

_Get out of my face _

_I'm tired and low_

_Feeling so misplaced _

_Time for you to go _

_You still know I'm better off on my own, so oh _

_Leave me alone _

_This isn't gonna work _

_Don't call me on the phone _

_Because I'm all out of words _

_I'll face the unknown _

_Thinking about all the ways that I've grown, so oh_

_Leave me alone, leave me alone_

_Leave me alone_

_Leave me alone, leave me alone_

_Leave me alone_

_Don't turn around and don't look back _

_I see right through all your selfless acts _

_Oh _

_Leave me alone _

_Get out of my face _

_I'm tired and low_

_Feeling so misplaced _

_Time for you to go _

_You still know I'm better off on my own, so oh _

_Leave me alone _

_This isn't gonna work _

_Don't call me on the phone _

_Because I'm all out of words _

_I'll face the unknown _

_Thinking about all the ways that I've grown, so oh_

_Leave me alone, leave me alone_

_Leave me alone_

_Leave me alone, leave me alone_

_Leave me alone_

_Leave me alone, leave me alone_

_Leave me alone_

_Leave me alone, leave me alone (leave me alone)_

_Leave me alone_

_Leave me alone_

_Leave me alone (I'll feel better on my own)_

_Leave me alone_

_Leave me alone_

_Leave me alone, leave me alone_

_Leave me alone_

_Leave me alone, leave me alone_

_Leave me alone_

When I was done I ran off the stage immediately. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Should I go and beat him up? Should I run away? What the hell was I supposed to do??

I walked up to him and pushed the skank on his lap away.

I slapped him.

And then I walked away.

What the bloody hell just happened?


	3. Chapter 3

I-I have absolutely no idea what just happened.

Ok so first I was singing. And then I wasn't. Then I was throwing some bimbo off of _his_ lap, and slapping him.

I think I have SPCS (Slapping People Constantly Syndrome).

Why did I slap him? I shouldn't have. It was rude and childish, but even a vampire's work doesn't work properly when they see their ex-husband's after 50 years…

I had run home immediately as soon as I had slapped him. My hand was still tingling. The whole place was empty when I got there, except for Demetri. He probably had permission from Caius to stay home. Caius _always_ played favorites.

Demetri had had a thing for me when I first came here. He had always tried to help when I was in the darkest of my moods. He was a really good friend of mine, he in a lot ways was like Emmett, even though if I told any of the Cullen's that they would never believe me.

Ten years ago he told me he had fallen in love with me. It was a pretty big deal, because a vampire can never fall out of love.

I had given him a chance. I had tried, because I had slowly been coming out of my depression. But slowly I was comparing him to Edward, and how they were alike and how they were different. In the end I fell for him a little too. But I had to end it because that caused the most pain in the end, the fact that I was able to move on, and leave Edward behind.

I had always wanted to leave Edward behind, but there was a part of me that couldn't.

So now he was back. And he had a girlfriend. And there was a chance that he might come and see me.

Duh. Edward wouldn't be Edward if he didn't come and find me to explain whatever lame ass excuses he has this time.

So I needed a back up plan. I needed to have Demetri so Edward thinks I'm happy and he can go and shove socks up his ass because I've had enough. No more. I was going to use Demetri. He would appear as my boyfriend. He would be happy, and Edward would finally get the picture.

I probably sound absolutely horrible and mean. But a vamp's gotta do what vamp's gotta do right?

Demetri had been watching me for the last ten minutes while I went through all of this in my head. How was I supposed to do this? I'm going to have to wing it.

"Demetri?"

I looked at his eyes. They were sparkling…red. They always did that when he talked to me.

"You love me right?"

Shit. That came out wrong.

He looked at me quizzically wondering where I was heading.

"Of course I do. But I know that you're not ready to give me a chance."

Okayyyyyyy.

"Ok I don't know how to put this…urgh…its…he…and…I…random slut…"

Why was I having such a hard time explaining? Was I nervous?

"Spit it out Bella."

"Ok so at the club I was singing. And Edward was there."

I heard him gasp quietly.

"With some girl on his lap, and I was really mad and hurt. So I slapped him…"

He grinned.

"I hoped you slapped hard."

I laughed. "I did. He was pretty shocked. But anyway, and then I ran back here. And I just know he's going to come here, and I need him to be able to see that I'm happy. With you."

His mouth dropped and I was scared it was going to fall to the floor.

"I know its using you. I know it's wrong. I just need for him to see that he has no chance. Not anymore. I'm over him, completely. Definitely after what I saw today."

"So you want me to pretend to be the life so your ex-husband gets the picture?"

Please, please agree.

"Yes? Will you help?"

"Of course, I can't say no to you."

I breathed in a sigh of relief.

I jumped on him and gave him a hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you soooo much."

He laughed, and put me down.

"I'm glad to be able to help. I just wish it was true, and not for show." He sighed and looked wistful.

I was moving on. It had been fifty years. I could give him a chance.

"It could be true. I don't know how long it will take but I know I'll get there eventually."

His eyes widened and he was about to say something but he just closed his eyes, and then opened them and all I could see was a hope. Lots and lots of hope.

He kissed my hand and whispered "Thank you."

I just nodded.

And reminded him that he would have to keep his thoughts in check when Edward was around.

A part of me hoped that he wouldn't come…but than Edward Anthony Masen Cullen would be not him. Unless after all of these years he's changed…which wouldn't be so hard to believe but after I saw that girl sitting on his lap…I probably don't even know him anymore.

And then just like in all of the books…

Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear.

And the devil did appear. Only it was the wrong devil.

"Alice?"

Oh my freaking god.


End file.
